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This is my first blog on WordPress! I am a psychologist and emotional wellness expert. I want you to know that through this blog I would be spreading awareness about mental health and the different ways that it impacts our life. It has tremendous importance in our overall quality of life. I would also like to share some really simple and effective techniques which might help you in making your life easier, be it be conflict management, maintaining good relationships, being healthy and happy! and so on. I hope you like my work.

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Why is self introspection important?

I have observed that we are in constant stress and confusion despite having a good lifestyle and a job as well. Teens dawdling and ruining their health by taking drugs and alcohol. Why is this happening? What aren’t we getting which is discouraging and pushing us towards unhealthy coping patterns? What are we seeking? Why can’t be find it easily by thinking about our wishes and dreams?All these questions altogether make me believe that if only I had the answer I could help myself and a lot others avoid unnecessary conflicts and setbacks in life. Some times its clinical anxiety which leads to worry and in-satiation, or its the habit of whining. But I have seen some people waiting for years to do what they want, and when they get it, they lose interest and move to a conclusion that they cannot do anything which might be worthwhile and according to their liking. Is there any way by which we can stay away all this? Or at least reduce this problem to a significant extent. A few ideas came in my mind and I would like to share them with you.

Firstly, accept that its a natural tendency of humans to be unsatisfied. So on a priority basis we need to work on this trait. Being ambitious and wanting to do great things is nice but only until it isn’t stressing your body and mind.

Always be prepared to do something you did not plan to do as well. For example, even if you desire to pursue an unconventional profession which doesn’t require a professional degree and intensive study, get enrolled in some course by distance education in a field which makes sense to you. Not only it offers you an educational qualification but it will also be a substitute in if you aren’t able to achieve positive result in your in your predetermined goal due to scarcity of resources, temporary fall in interest or any reason for that matter. I am not stating that do not move forward towards your passion. But be independent or at least be eligible to be. The kind of competition that is present nowadays bounds us to be frustrated when we fail to excel in some endeavour of ours. So have a backup strategy in hand and use it till you regain your might and favourable conditions to follow your heart. And by no way I am trying to say that all people don’t succeed in one attempt, but just in case you are; lacking in any resource or a little luck.

We join the gym to become fit but admit defeat when they are unable see results easily. But we should understand that consistency is the key to success. Whether it may be exercising, studies or any other skill that you are making effort to master.

And lastly whatever you aspire for and, in which ever direction you want to go. First wait and give the thought an analysis, if it still stays, try it on for some time with minimal investment specially if it’s related to your hard earned money. If it feels convenient to you, at the minimum for a few weeks then advance ahead with that ambition of yours! And remember at all times, distracting your self by any means from a problem is never a good thing. Escapism won’t save you from anything, instead it’s a spiral which is difficult to emerge out from. So face life as it comes and be ready to fight! All the best!

MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MARRIAGE

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Many a times this question arose in my mind that what does it really takes to sustain a marriage. According to me it was loyalty and trust, but as I grew up my views have changed drastically. Being a Counsellor I come across people of all ages and phases of life who are married or have been married at some point of time. Talking about other parameters like the degree to which people care about each other, respect, keeping the spark alive, being loyal, these all are essentials but what if problems surround your marriage?
When a person is weak, vulnerable and disheartened by failures, it is very clear that he is not his/ her real self. He resorts to his coping patterns whatever they may be or may have formed during his upbringing. In this situation obviously he is not patient and considerate enough to fulfil all the parameters. So what saves your marriage? Is it love? Is it loyalty? Because I have seen loyal people part ways with each other as well.

 

I think its the internal will of a person which can sustain a marriage. It doesn’t even have to include the best understanding with your partners. Because your partner might be weak at some point of time. So, sometimes its up to you to keep your weakness below your partner’s so as to lift both of you up gradually.
I think until its a case of serious disrespect or anything grave according to you for that matter, we should take initiative to sustain our relationships. Because NOBODY IS PERFECT. But its us who can create perfection. Its us who can create love and togetherness.

COPING WITH STRESS

 

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Stress is an uneasy experience which affects our health in a negative way. The simplest way of coping up with stress would be modifying or removing its source, which is not always possible. However there are some techniques which decrease your stress level significantly. Successful coping with stress is dependent on many factors. A person’s perspective of control on the situation, his personality, availability of support from friends and family and social circle are some very important factors which play a crucial role in the moderation of stress. Resilience of a person also makes him more or less susceptible to stress. More resilience, tolerance and optimism are some individual qualities which help a person to handle stress effectively. Under a stressful situation a person can utilize many strategies which focus on taking steps to alleviate or modify stress. Let me explain to you about them.

 

1. Management of body reactions

When you are stress your muscles feel tightened and heart rate increases. You can feel tension building up in your body and mind as well. Now here in this condition, relaxing the body may help to a great extent. Do this by the following ways:

a. Exercise: This can range from anything like swimming or running, yoga etc.

b. Meditation: this is a spiritual and scientific way of balancing your intense emotions. Meditation promotes clarity of thoughts and improves concentration and the power to think and act rationally.

2. Modifying effective behavior by the following methods:

a. Slowing down. Try to do things in the natural and relaxed pace. Trying to do things in a hurry and worry makes us make mistakes which in turn increase stress even more.

b. Organize. Set your priorities and manage your schedule so that you can get things done in time with minimal confusion and time lag.

c. Accepting and identifying one’s limits and abilities. Set up realistic expectations and goals for self. Don’t take too much pressure.

 

3. Seek Social support. A close and healthy relationship with our friends and family keeps us emotionally stable and happy. Talking and sharing about problems with close ones gives us inner strength and guidance.

 

4. Practicing mindfulness. Whatever activity you do during the day, may it be work, eating or even drinking a glass of water, do it mindfully. This helps us in refraining from negative and intrusive thoughts and also helps us in completing the activity for maximum benefit.

 

5. Being Optimistic.

By having a positive outlook towards life, we seek opportunities even in difficulties. It becomes easier to find a way out of difficult phases of life. Along with this acceptance also helps a long way.

 

 

 

6. Revaluating Goals. Many people work so hard to achieve their goals that one day they reach the burnout point and reach to the point of a breakdown. This is not a good thing as we need to be healthy and free enough to reap the benefits of our success. So we need to identify our limits and restructure our expectations and be little gentle on ourselves.

7. So the next time you feel tensed and stressed, remember to take long breaths, count to ten and think about following the above mentioned techniques. Hope they will help!

 

© 2017 Nitika Mehra

Law of Attraction. How to use it ?

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Some general guidelines first:

1. Think about what you want, and not about what you don’t want! I will explain this with an example. Say, you want to live in a bungalow and not a flat. For this, you should have affirmations like,”Living in a bungalow is wonderful” or “I want a bungalow because it is independent and spacious”. Now you don’t want to live in a flat for what so ever reason, don’t mention statements like,” I just don’t want to settle for a flat” etc. This is because indirectly you would be thinking about the flat only. You have to completely eliminate the things you don’t want from your vocabulary as well. Sentences like,” Oh God! I don’t want to put on weight” are not to be used. Instead use, “I am on the process of losing weight”.

2. You might be wondering that, why did I use the statement in the present tense? This also has a reason. You have to affirm then believe that the process has already started. You have to put faith in the process and actually believe it. In a span of time you will witness events and things happening which are in lieu to your wish. If you make affirmations in the future tense, chances are that it would keep getting postponed to future only. Let’s discuss the step to follow now.

The simple steps in which you have to proceed are:

1. Affirm/Ask

You have to formulate certain affirmations that you want in your life. for example,”I am healthy and slim”, “I am a good student”, “I am wealthy” and so on.

Techniques which help

Writing your affirmations on a piece of paper everyday or keeping them at a place where you can see them everyday. Remember to write them in the accomplished / accomplishing state. You can also make a Vision Board, by sticking all the pictures of your desired things in a display board in your personal room. You would get to see them everyday. Those pictures should clearly describe your requirements in health, wealth or relationships whatsoever you wish for.

2. The second step is to believe that your desires are actually manifesting. The process of believing requires actually feeling that thing is accomplished and not just thinking firmly about it. For example, you wish to own a car soon, you have to really feel that you own a car. One law attraction seeker actually used to practice driving a car by sitting on his chair and with some music. He actually used to visualise driving a car while enacting driving it.

This also leads us to an important concept called visualization which helps us in creating strong vibrations to be sent out to the universe.

Hence feeling how you would feel after being granted your wish and visualizing are basic techniques which are to be done as much as possible in a daily basis.

3. Live your life as you would have lived it after attainment of your desires and start experiencing the magic soon!